Month: March 2018

What you say to yourself is what matters the MOST. I learned that at a very young age.

My life was less than perfect. The first few years of my life were not that great. When I was 2 I became a big sister. My sister Leanne was born and when she was 1 the doctors had discovered that she had epilepsy that damaged the speech part of her brain and she was autistic. The man I believed to be my father wanted nothing to do with her. As his hatred for my sister grew, his twisted love for me grew stronger and he began touching me and told me not to tell my mom because she wouldn’t understand the love he had for me. It was then that I knew at the age of 4 that I had a choice and it wasn’t what he said to me that mattered it was the fact I was telling myself it was wrong that did. I chose to tell my mom what he had done and that began her struggles as a single mom.

Once he left, my mom had to live on assistance and chose to be a stay at home mom to take care of my sister and I. We didn’t have the best clothes, shoes, or toys but my moms love for us made up for all of that. When I was in second grade I was made fun of for my welfare glasses and K-mart clothes and used to cry at night because I felt no one liked me and everyone made fun of me. One night my mom heard me and she came in. I told her what was happening and she said to me “Honey, sticks and stones might break your bones, but names will never hurt you”. I remember going to school and when little Steven was calling me four eyes, I turned to him and said “sticks and stones may break my bones but name will NEVER hurt me” and I stuck out my tongue and walked away. He was shocked and from that point on he stopped picking on me. It was then, that I knew I had the POWER over me and not anyone else.

I would constantly tell myself I can do anything and BE ANYTHING as long as I put my mind to it. What we say to ourselves is the MOST important thing. If I believed the words of others from when I was little to now, I would not be where I am today. Its so important to instill in our youth that the words of others have no meaning unless you give it meaning. Our Self-Talk has much greater POWER than anyone’s words.

Believe in yourself, love yourself, tell yourself that your beautiful, you can do anything, you can be anything and watch how fast your life transforms.

If you can envision it, you can achieve it.

Positive self talk leads to a life of happiness and love.

It’s Monday and you overslept. As you rush out of bed you stub your toe and you scream and think to yourself “what else is going to go wrong today”. Without even realizing it, you’ve already set the negative tone for the day.

You finally make it to school and you are already feeling anxious for being late. You rush to class, then you realize rushing out the door you forgot your essay that was sitting next to your binder and its worth 40% of your grade. Now what?

You start to break down inside, the overwhelming feeling of self disappointment and fear sets it. The teacher asks everyone to hand in their essay. You tell the teacher what happened in the morning and he says “well, who’s fault is it? You’ll have to take a zero”. You plead with him to bring it in the next day for partial credit and he tells you “NO”. What’s going through your mind?

Our first defense is to blame the events that led us to fail. You blame your parents for not waking you up sooner, you blame the stupid alarm for not going off, you even blame the bed for being in the way and stubbing your toe. If only your mom woke you up sooner you wouldn’t have rushed out of bed and stubbed your toe, you wouldn’t have been rushing and forgot your essay. Right?

Sure you overslept and are running late. Sure it hurt like hell when you stubbed your toe. Sure you forgot your essay. However, that happened in the first 60 minutes of your day. You’ve got about 840 more minutes to your day left. Are you going to waste them on feeling like you failed?

So you woke up late. Don’t look at the negative,  embrace the fact that your body and mind needed the extra rest. You stubbed your toe but it didn’t break. Be thankful. You left your essay at home because you didn’t put it in your bag when you finished it. There is a lesson in that. When your finished with your work put it in your bag or binder. So the day isn’t ruined you actually learned something.

As hard as it might be, one thing I learned is, when we take responsibility for the events that happen in our life we are able to move forward without feeling negative.

Embrace the bad days and learn from them. Each day is a new day and you never know if tomorrow is coming. Take time to reflect on the daily events, find a good in the day and focus on that.

After all