At some point in your life, whether you realize it or not, you have been surrounded by a narcissist. Whether it’s a past or present relationship, friendship, work colleague or family member, I can guarantee at some point you have dealt with a narcissist. Whatever the case may be, when it comes to dealing with a narcissist, it can be exhausting and draining.
Toxic Health Risks:
Lack of Self-Worth
Lucky for all of us, narcissistic people come in all genders and race.
For those of you still confused whether you’ve been exposed to narcissism or not ask yourself this one question… At any point have you ever felt that your opinion or feelings were disregarded? That the person you were talking to was too fixated on their feelings and made their opinions the only ones that mattered? If you have, chances are you’ve been exposed to the toxicity of a narcissist.
Once you’ve been exposed, buckle up because it’s a bumpy ride and depending on the type of relationship, you could be invited to ride the non-stop rollercoaster of emotions. Don’t worry though, not all of the emotions are negative, you will experience peaks of positive ones. However, like all rollercoasters there are more drops, twists and turns than there are peaks. So you must proceed with caution.
Narcissists are unable to see the good and bad qualities in others simultaneously and accept that both exist. They either see you as special and perfect like them or worthless and flawed in which they cannot associate with. Therefore, they rarely accept blame for their actions as it shows a sign of being flawed and worthless.
The narcissist’s perception of you will depend on how they feel in the moment and rarely have anything to do with you personally. When you reach the next peak on your ride we call this happiness, but take it at face value, as it is only temporary and fragile. It is vulnerable to being disrupted unexpectedly. Narcissists are extremely hypersensitive and unable to maintain a stable, positive image of you when they feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or frustrated by you causing your coaster to flip upside down. The moment the narcissist feels slightly negative towards you, anything you shared positively is completely disregarded, as if it never existed.
Narcissists have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships as they have a superior need for power and recognition and will not tolerate anything less. Narcissists are jealous people who seek constant praise and positive reinforcement from others. They are incapable of loving unconditionally. In order to gain love from a narcissist you must be willing to adhere to any conditions they demand.
Once a narcissist has your commitment, this is when your roller coaster takes a sharp turn down the spiral track and the true colors of the narcissist will begin to emerge and narcissistic abuse begins. It begins with belittling comments, ignoring behavior, adultery, and, at times, physical abuse. Their feelings of inadequacy are projected onto you. If the narcissistic person is feeling unattractive they will belittle your appearance. If the narcissist makes an error, this error becomes your fault. Narcissists also engage in manipulative abuse by giving subtle hints and comments that result in you questioning your own behavior and thoughts. Another common abusive tactic is public humiliation, when the narcissist says something seemingly innocent but offensive to you and enjoys the emotional reaction you give. Any slight criticism of the narcissist, whether actual or perceived, often triggers narcissistic rage and full-blown annihilation from the narcissistic person. This can range from a screaming tirades or silent treatment. Narcissists do not take responsibility for relationship difficulties and exhibit no feelings of remorse. Instead they believe themselves to be the victim in the relationship as you failed to meet their expectations.